Ken “Ken Troop” Troop posted in Lietgardis’ patch-day thread explaining exactly what is going on at Turbine lately.
It is well known that AC actually has been losing 80% of its customer base each month for the last 6 months. As everyone also knows, we started out with a total of 4000 total subscribers, so we are now left with .216 subscribers. And he is currently in a lot of pain due to the fact that 78.4% of his body has been removed (including his eyes, everyone knows that AC has the worst graphics), so he may not last that long. As a result of this abysmal retention rate (10% would be a godsend, but I appreciate the well-wishes, Belgrathx), we are currently in negotiations to pay Microsoft to take us over.
He then exploded in a (flurry (of (parentheticals))). Microsoft, who now own Turbine’s employees as chattel, announced that portions of him will be “embraced and extended” for use in Age of Empires XP (now with the Goths, the Huns, the Department of Justice, and Clippy).